Cook's Royal Rumble 2017 Review
Crotcheting

Cook dinner’s Royal Rumble 2017 Evaluate

The 2017 Royal Rumble is anticipated to be the biggest-grossing non-WrestleMania occasion in WWE historical past. It’s been awhile since a non-WrestleMania occasion has visited a dome or stadium, and the Rumble is the right occasion for one. Frankly, I’m stunned WWE didn’t do that years earlier. Think about how totally different the response to the 2014 Rumble would have been in a bigger venue. Certain, there would have nonetheless been followers mad that Daniel Bryan wasn’t in it, however the proportion would have been decrease & they wouldn’t have been as loud to us watching at house. The backlash to Roman Reigns the final two years might need been muted as effectively. Oh effectively, we don’t dwell prior to now right here at 411mania.

My identify’s Steve Cook dinner, and I don’t dwell prior to now both. However should you’ve been a 411 reader for a prolonged time frame you may bear in mind me from such columns as “Information From Cook dinner’s Nook”, “TNA Influence Perception”, “Ask 411 Wrestling” and a bunch of different stuff that I don’t bear in mind doing. Alcohol is a hell of a drug. However, I’m again simply in time for the most important non-WrestleMania occasion in WWE historical past and I don’t assume my timing might have been any higher. This was one of many least predictable Rumbles heading into the present in latest reminiscence, as any variety of huge names, part-timers and even full-timers had a reliable shot at successful the Royal Rumble Match and incomes their spot in a Championship match at WrestleMania. Or possibly they’d earn a spot in a Championship match at one of many February PPVs, or the possibility to defend their spot there, or any variety of issues. The Street to WrestleMania begins on the Royal Rumble, and the journey is often a bumpy one with a lot of twists & turns. I’m anticipating nothing much less this 12 months.

Becky Lynch, Nikki Bella & Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss, Mickie James & Natalya

I like the SmackDown girls’s division. They appeared to get the brief hand of the stick within the unique draft, however key additions like Nikki & Mickie together with good storytelling have put SD’s  girls’s division on equal footing with Uncooked’s, no less than in my eyes if not within the eyes of WWE brass because of their placement on this present compared to Uncooked’s girls. Although I assume it may be debated whether or not or not the opening match of the Kickoff Present has taken the opening match of the principle card’s spot because the second most necessary spot on the present. Becky, Nikki & Naomi began out sizzling however finally it got here to Becky taking abuse from Alexa & her buddies, as issues sometimes do lately. I loved Naomi’s calvacade of kicks, as Mauro Rinallo referred to as them. She ended up getting the win over Alexa Bliss, setting her up as the highest contender for the SmackDown Girls’s Title going ahead. Since Becky & Nikki have private points going with Mickie & Natalya respectively, this is smart. Very similar to most issues on SmackDown. All people seemed good, I’ve no complaints in regards to the match or the reserving. (***)

Kevin Owens & Chris Jericho promos all the time deserve a point out even when they’re on the kickoff present. Charly Caruso deserves point out as effectively, she’s fairly darn stable within the interviewing position. She wants some work within the host position, however there’s potential there. Whereas I’m commenting on preshow hosts right here’s my tackle the varied Kickoff Present presenters…

Renee Younger: Greatest host WWE has had in a very long time.

Booker T: I like Booker much more than most individuals do. He has an incredible character for the analyst position and will nonetheless be on Uncooked or SmackDown.

Jerry Lawler & Shawn Michaels: Each served the identical objective on this present and had been positive. Shawn was fairly good on shade again within the mid-90s however I’m certain he doesn’t have time for it now.

Peter Rosenberg: Was higher right here within the roving reporter position than he has been as an analyst or host.

I might do the identical for the announcers on the principle present if there weren’t so a lot of them. Three is an excessive amount of for my style, fourteen is simply nutty.

WWE Uncooked Tag Group Championship Match With Two Referees
Cesaro & Sheamus (c) vs. Gallows & Anderson

It looks as if the Cesaro/Sheamus wacky tag crew companions that hate one another act misplaced some steam as soon as they turned pleasant. It doesn’t assist that they’re feuding with Gallows & Anderson. Don’t get me flawed, I like The Membership, however they’re colder than the climate exterior proper now. Wherever you’re. I’ve to register a grievance with the primary two Kickoff Present matches having commercials in the course of them. Hopefully they don’t do one in the course of the Rumble. Sheamus is definitely getting a constructive response throughout this match, I had forgotten what that was like. The second referee on the skin really does one thing helpful, which I wasn’t actually anticipating. My lack of Uncooked-watching recently is uncovered as I had no thought Cesaro was doing a 619 now. It’s…one thing. Have we determined whether or not or not Karl is said to Arn, Ole, Gene & Lars? We lose a referee to a Brogue Kick & shenanigans are afoot Magic Killer to Sheamus, Cesaro knocks Gallows out of the ring…Anderson rolls Cesaro up & holds the tights to win the Championships! Effectively, I assume Cesaro & Sheamus have cause to hate one another once more. First rate sufficient match with wise reserving, however nothing to set the world on fireplace. Hopefully the belts will assist Gallows & Anderson & it isn’t too little, too late. (**3/4)

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

I believe Nia has a number of potential as an Superior Kong-style employee, however she’s inexperienced as grass proper now. Placing Sasha together with her ought to assist her out, as Sasha can work & she’s so small that every little thing Nia does seems devastating. This system doesn’t appear to be ending anytime quickly, as Nia just about squashed Sasha into oblivion. She has the excuse of a bum knee although, so it shouldn’t damage her that a lot. I’ll mud off a traditional…this can be a match and it was there. (*)

Seth Rollins is banned from the constructing tonight. So he’ll be there. Shawn Michaels goes to the ring & cuts a promo to hype the gang. I at present anticipate him to do nothing else.

WWE Uncooked Girls’s Championship Match
Charlotte Aptitude (c) vs. Bayley

When did the Tube Males grow to be Bayley Buddies? I hope this implies they’re going to promote them. Bayley’s doing flying headscissors & cross-bodies to the ground early on, however Charlotte will get her bearings & goes on the offensive. Poor Bayley. Nah, I don’t really feel sorry for Bayley, she’s within the excellent position for her. So is Charlotte. The matches haven’t been nearly as good as Charlotte vs. Sasha, however the character work is significantly better as a result of Bayley is a way more plausible babyface than Sasha, who’s the Legit Boss at coronary heart. Don’t commerce chops with a Aptitude, Bayley! Until you’re any of Ric’s WCW opponents. I like how they play Bayley not being as athletically sound as Charlotte into their characters. Followers purchased into the nearfall of Bayley’s knees kinda breaking apart Charlotte’s moonsault. Pure Choice on the apron finishes it for Charlotte. I don’t just like the “each single transfer being on the apron” development that Professional Wrestling NOAH began and each indy promotion abused, but when it finishes a match I’ll permit it. First rate sufficient match right here, nothing blowaway nice like a number of the earlier Charlotte title matches. (***1/4)

WWE Common Championship Match with No Disqualifications & Chris Jericho in a Shark Cage
Kevin Owens (c) vs. Roman Reigns

I don’t assume I might be cool with being in a shark cage. Both up within the air or in water surrounded by sharks. I like how Byron Saxton talks about Owens’ credibility as champion being undermined by Jericho’s interference whereas the gang cheers him. Reigns beats Jericho up earlier than tossing him into the shark cage, which appears extreme. Owens & Reigns head into the gang & pay a go to to the Japanese announce crew. The truth that it’s Funaki & Yamaguchi-San nonetheless cracks me up. They need to have Baron Von Raschke doing German commentary. Owens takes benefit of the entire No DQ factor by getting out a bunch of chairs like he’s again in CZW. Pondering of CZW jogs my memory that sometime I’ve to enter element about how DJ Hyde impressed Triple H’s run as an authority determine. Not right now although, I’d reasonably watch Kevin Owens beat up Roman Reigns and assemble a contraption of chairs. They tease folks going by means of it earlier than Roman goes on his offensive run. He will get the desk however Owens backstabs him for a two rely. Humorous how the backstabber turned the universally accepted identify for that transfer. Extra offense from Reigns till he finally ends up on the desk exterior…frog splash from Owens off the highest rope! Yikes. They speak about potential busted ribs for each guys on that one. A chairshot in honor of Jericho will get a nearfall. Again & forth offense results in Reigns being despatched head-first into some chairs for 2. Jericho has some brass knuckles & decides to drop them right down to Owens. Who might have seen such a factor coming? Owens lands the Superman punch with the knucks and solely will get a two rely! If William Regal had achieved it the match can be over. Be taught to throw a punch, Kevin. Samoan Drop by means of a chair by Reigns will get two. MOAR TABLE. Owens kicks out of a Superman punch. Reigns kicks out of a Stone Chilly Stunner, of all issues. I’m rooting for a Rock Backside subsequent. The followers love the finisher fest with plunder, who would have guessed? It is likely to be time to undergo these chairs…and it’s Owens taking the plunge after a Superman punch! Reigns decides that’s not sufficient and it’s time to place Owens by means of the Uncooked announce desk! Yeah, I’d say that is about over. No…it’s not as a result of right here comes BRAUN STROWMAN. He chokeslams Reigns on the Smackdown announce desk, which doesn’t put it over in any respect! Ouch. Operating powerslam by means of the desk! Braun leaves, Owens rolls over for the quilt and retains the title.

OK, that was all in all probability means an excessive amount of. However typically you gotta have matches which are means an excessive amount of, and this one was gratifying. I’m gonna go (****). I preferred it. Owens didn’t win on his personal once more, however he nonetheless had a heck of an effort. Reigns is indestructible and I’m not going to waste time complaining about it. It’s what it’s. And it wasn’t dangerous tonight.

Enzo Amore doing a KFC business…that was fairly dangerous. Please don’t soil the fame of my state’s main contribution to America like that.

Mick Foley’s swimsuit…even worse. I like Dean Ambrose’s technique for the quantity pull. Don’t even have a look at the quantity, simply exit when your music hits. Then you definitely don’t give it some thought an excessive amount of.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Wealthy Swann (c) vs. Neville

I’ll be trustworthy, I haven’t actually stored up with 205 Reside because the first couple of episodes. Principally as a result of the Nashville Predators appear to have video games each Tuesday and the third interval often begins round 10 PM. At the very least they appear to be focusing across the guys that may fly now, and Swann does a little bit of it early. Neville is impressing folks on this heel run and it’s not laborious to see why. The draw back is that he has to decelerate his offense to get the correct response, and it results in lower than entertaining outcomes typically. I don’t bear in mind WCW cruiserweights working restholds. The gang is aware of Tye Dillinger with their 10 counts. Swann wakes the parents up with a superkick breaking apart a Neville double axehandle. Now he flips round and issues are choosing up. Large ol’ CroCop kick will get 2 as does the great ol’ standing frog splash. WWE Signal Man selected this match to take his lavatory break? To be honest, the AlamoDome is fairly huge so possibly he left in the course of the very long time between matches and simply acquired again now. That’s in all probability it. Neville will get his foot on the ropes to interrupt a nearfall on a kick. Wealthy, dude, the kick’s not working as a end right here. Strive one thing else. He goes up high however Neville meets him up there for a superplex that will get two. Neville locks in a Rings of Saturn with a crossface & Swann faucets the title away. A little bit sluggish for my cruiserweight style, to be trustworthy. I just like the potential of Neville as champion and hopefully this may ship issues in the best route. When’s Tozawa debuting? (**)

WWE Championship Match
AJ Kinds (c) vs. John Cena

Kinds enters first and all people on my Twitter loses their poop. The “champions shouldn’t enter first” factor appears like a battle that ended a very long time in the past and actually isn’t price combating once more. These guys are two of one of the best on the planet and this match needs to be superior. Cena’s veins are coming out of his physique. I do not know if that’s wholesome or not, however I haven’t seen any of my veins since I used to be about ten years outdated. A little bit sluggish to begin, however not too sluggish. Countering of strikes as a result of they’ve wrestled one another earlier than. AJ pulling the wheelbarrow facebuster out of his hat. Cena clotheslining Kinds’s head off. Kinds with a Lex Luger model torture rack! You don’t see that sufficient anymore. A spinning powerbomb out of it will get 2. The primary AA of the match will get a 2 rely. The primary AA is just about lifeless as a end at this level, which I’m certain most don’t thoughts as a result of it’s a standing fireman’s carry, however the transfer had been protected so a few years it’s sort of a disgrace. Cena’s been engaged on these clotheslines. I’d nearly bump them as much as lariat degree, however I believe solely Texans are allowed to throw lariats. Kinds partially hits the Pele kick, then we get the primary Phenomenal Forearm for 2. I’m getting the sensation about twelve minutes or so in that this may very well be going awhile. Kinds locks within the Calf Crusher, and I’d be extra invested if I hadn’t already determined this was happening for awhile. However then Cena locks within the STF and possibly I’m flawed? No, I’m not flawed. AJ locks within the STF. Cena powers out…AA? Nah, let’s do a determine 4 leglock! That’d be a heck of a method to tie the Naitch. The announcers can’t resolve whether or not or not Cena deadlifts Kinds on a powerbomb kind transfer. Cena misses the Rocker Dropper, and Kinds hits the Kinds Conflict for a two rely! He misses the springboard 450, and Cena hits the Code Crimson for a two rely! Kinds will get one other nearfall utilizing his knee, and that may play into issues…possibly? Cena’s making up strikes for 2 counts at this level. Tremendous AA time? Sure it’s! 2 rely? Dang son. One other Kinds Conflict! Kinds isn’t in place for a 3 rely although…he opts to spring up high as an alternative & springs into an AA! Cena does one other for good measure! And we acquired a 16 time Champ!

What a match. Each guys on high of their recreation, it doesn’t matter which one holds the strap as a result of they each deserve it. Cena’s round for now, so why not? Between this match & Federer & Nadal it was a heck of a Sunday for legends of the 2000s & 2010s. Cena makes a want after the match as a result of he’s John Cena and that’s what he does. Can we go 5 snowflakes? Sure, we will. (*****)

The 2017 Royal Rumble Match

Large Cass attracts #1. I assume this was so Enzo might minimize his promo. I’m sort of achieved with it at this level however the WWE Universe certain isn’t, so I can’t blame them for persevering with. Apparently time isn’t a difficulty for tonight’s present as a result of that went on for awhile. Chris Jericho attracts #2 and we will assume the Rumble Curse of Jericho continues. Two minutes go by & Kalisto is #3. Not liking his probabilities since many of the guys on this match are a foot taller than him.He will get to do some enjoyable flips & rolling round although. Mojo Rawley is #4 and he’s all HYPED. POOOOOOUUUUUNNNNCCCCCEEEEEEE! Man, what’s Monty Brown as much as lately? And what are our time intervals this 12 months? Right here comes Gentleman Jack Gallagher at #5 along with his umbrella. Effectively, it’s no disqualification, however not very gentlemanly. Jericho neuters himself with the umbrella. Mark Henry is #6 and I actually don’t like his possibilities of lasting all the way in which. We should be counting the entrances as a part of the 2 minutes, because it takes a while to stroll down that runway. Henry tosses Gallagher & his umbrella like yesterday’s rubbish. Bruan Strowman enters at #7 and gamblers that picked him are dropping their minds now. See ya, Mojo. Large Cass goes flying out after lacking a giant boot & crotcheting himself. Strowman tosses Kalisto into the second row. Strowman & Mark Henry face off, and that’s it for Mizark. They’re all out besides Strowman…and Jericho, who’s chillaxing exterior as a result of he’s clever.

Sami Zayn is #8 and he’s acquired a little bit little bit of historical past with Mr. Strowman. The poor bastard. I don’t see him lasting lengthy except he will get to work an damage angle or Braun will get uninterested in him. Strowman beats him down for awhile. #9 is the Large Present. I don’t assume the load loss actually helps with Rumble technique…Present can last more, however he’s simpler to throw out now. He’s doing effectively now, and Jericho will get knocked out so he can promote for awhile. Braun eliminates Present for the second 12 months in a row. I’m telling you, he ought to have stored the load on. Right here comes the Good 10, Tye Dillinger! Quantity 10! It’s excellent…besides he’s operating into Braun Strowman. Numerous 10 counts. Sami & Tye crew up on Strowman for a little bit bit. He suplexes each of them, and #11 is none aside from one other Strowman foil, James Ellsworth! Carmella tells him to get into the ring however James has second ideas. Sami & Tye benefit from the distraction & almost remove Braun…however that doesn’t final lengthy. Dean Ambrose is #12, and James Ellsworth is likely to be in some bother now. Particularly since Dean methods him into operating into the ring & Braun Strowman. Strowman tosses his sixth individual out in fairly brutal vogue. Dean joins Sami & Tye towards Braun, however that doesn’t go an entire lot higher. Baron Corbin is unfortunate #13, which sounds about proper for him. He joins the others in going after Strowman, which appears out of character however I assume he’d reasonably do away with the massive man first. There goes Tye because of Braun. Helluva Kick within the nook on Braun! Corbin eliminates Strowman with a clothesline! Soiled Deeds on Corbin by Ambrose! Kofi Kingston is #14 and now we wait to see how he hangs within the Rumble a little bit bit longer than he in all probability ought to. The Miz is #15, which is a much better draw than he’s accustomed to. Cranium-Crushing Finale to Sami straight away. Miz tries to remove Ambrose, then opts for the Bryan-style offense. Corbin Deep-Sixes Miz. Miz, Corbin, Kofi, Sami, Dean & Jericho are nonetheless on this in the intervening time. I’m unsure the place Jericho is, however he’s nonetheless alive. Kofi hangs on by a ringpost and hits Bother in Paradise on Corbin.

Sheamus attracts #16 and he goes to city on all people in sight. Right here comes Jericho to get Brogue Kicked. Kofi will get some assist now, as Large E is #17. When did Large E begin spanking folks throughout stomach stretches? I’ve missed some stuff on Uncooked, apparently. Rusev drew #18 & he’s acquired a damaged nostril. Poor man. Doesn’t cease him from splashing every little thing in sight. A spinning heel kick to Sheamus! He doesn’t appear terribly involved with eliminating folks although. Miz will get kneed into subsequent week. Cesaro is #19, so Sheamus has an ally…no less than for a couple of minutes anyway. He swings Miz, Zayn, Ambrose, Kofi, Large E (for a second), Corbin, and teases a Sheamus swing earlier than Rusev breaks that up. Xavier Woods is #20 and now we’ve acquired all of the New Day members right here. I simply seen we haven’t had any Wyatt Members of the family but, which is nice for them. New Day isolates Sheamus, however Cesaro & Miz for some cause break that mess up. Talking of the Wyatts, right here comes Bray at #21. He goes after anyone dumb sufficient to run into him. We’ve acquired two New Day members on the ring apron & a ton of individuals within the ring proper now. Apollo Crews is #22 and I don’t assume he’ll do something to clear the deadwood. First Goldberg chant of the match. Sheamus & Cesaro remove all three New Day members! Sheamus tries to remove Cesaro, they bicker, and Jericho eliminates each of them! They stare one another down exterior, as #23 makes his method to the ring within the type of Randy Orton. He’s been one of many high picks by the smart guys…I’m probably not certain why, however he does go loopy right here early on. RKOs! Sami jumps into one for enjoyable. Now Orton & Wyatt are prepared. Jericho leaping in there won’t have been smart. Dolph Ziggler is #24…nice draw for him. SUPERKIIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKKKKKS. Lawler asks if he can go over to seize Dolph’s toes when he’s on the verge of elimination. I believe he’ll behave. Luke Harper is #25 and I’m wondering why he doesn’t get to make use of his personal music. He eliminates Crews anyway. He teases an alliance with Orton, however clotheslines Wyatt! He teases giving Bray the Sister Abagail, however Orton hits an RKO to interrupt it up. Speak about a dysfunctional household.

Talking of dysfunctional, right here comes Brock Lesnar at #26. There goes Ambrose & Ziggler. Suplexes for Rusev, Jericho & Corbin. F-5s to Miz & Orton. Fortunate #27…it’s Enzo Amore! He acquired a significantly better draw than Cass, apart from the half the place he will get to run into Brock Lesnar. Lesnar clotheslines his head off. Bye, Enzo. How ya doin. So we acquired Undertaker & Goldberg nonetheless to enter, and doubtless someone apparent that I’m forgetting proper now. I can consider a few guys it may very well be (Reigns? Triple H? Any individual already introduced that slipped my thoughts?)…however earlier than we get to that it’s Goldberg at #28. All people else within the ring is lifeless, so Goldberg & Brock face off! Spear by Goldberg! Clothesline excessive! That was much less time than it took him at Survivor Sequence! Corbin, Rusev & Jericho all take a shot. Sami Zayn takes a Jackhammer trigger he’s loopy like that. The Wyatts take their flip, and Randy & Bray eat a spear for his or her efforts. It’s Undertaker time at #29. Which may have been his quickest match entrance in ten years. Goldberg tosses Rusev, Undertaker eliminates Corbin. Spear by Goldberg on Taker. Luke Harper takes his go away because of Goldberg. Taker eliminates Goldberg! Undertaker chokeslams Zayn & Miz. Right here comes #30…

ROMAN REIGNS! After all it’s. It’s Reigns, Undertaker, Orton, Wyatt, Zayn, Miz, Jericho. Reigns & Undertaker face off. Superman punch by Reigns! One other is blocked and he will get a chokeslam. Miz is out by way of Taker. Zayn is out by way of Taker. Jericho is sitting up high for some cause. Certain sufficient, it results in a chokeslam. Reigns eliminates the Undertaker! Effectively, that’s a WrestleMania thought I assume.

Closing 4: Reigns, Jericho, Wyatt & Orton. Hell, possibly the Curse of Jericho is over. And as quickly as I say that, Reigns goes after him. Yup, Superman punch and there he goes. Orton & Wyatt doubleteam Reigns. Reigns fights again & tosses Wyatt! Orton’s really going to do it. And certain sufficient, he RKOs Reigns, clotheslines him excessive & wins! Effectively, I didn’t precisely see that one coming stepping into. I did an article on the Royal Rumble betting odds final week the place, amongst different issues, I stated it made no sense for Orton to win. Proper after that went dwell, a ton of cash got here in on Orton. Clearly, I’ve nonetheless acquired my finger on the heartbeat of WWE.

This wasn’t among the finest Rumble matches ever, however I’d say it was a step up from latest ones. Much less comedy and extra folks really making an attempt to win makes for a greater essential occasion match. MVP…Sami Zayn? Jericho was in for longer however did much less. Zayn was fairly lively more often than not, no less than when he & all people else working full-time weren’t enjoying lifeless for the part-timers. So far as stars go I’m guessing (***) on a Rumble match scale. It feels prefer it’d be proper within the center. Orton successful doesn’t actually trouble me, no less than till I notice this may result in one other Cena vs. Orton match, which may very well be subtitled “One Thousandth in a Lifetime”.

Eh, we’ve nonetheless acquired a couple of bumps within the Street to WrestleMania to hit. Who is aware of what’ll really occur. We’ll discover out collectively. Good evening all people!

For extra of Steve Cook dinner’s ideas on professional wrestling, alongside along with his ideas on the Cincinnati Bengals, Cincinnati Reds, Nashville Predators, Tottenham Hotspur & College of Louisville sports activities groups, comply with him on Twitter!

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